in family court is detrimental to you and to the children of divorce, in every way. You have no control over the process; judges are too busy to understand your needs; combative things that parties say about each other are public record, accessible to friends, employers and potential employers, co-workers, and your children. The perpetuation of bitterness is well served and self-inflicted.
Collaborative divorce will not work for every couple because it requires each person to approach the divorce process with maturity and the willingness to work towards a mutually beneficial outcome - a win/win for both adults and their children. In our opinion it is always preferable to the court supervised process. The emotional destructiveness of
is great, and it is more expensive emotionally and financially, as well as time consuming than the collaborative alternative.
Collaborative Divorce ='s Peacemaking.
Here is a link to that perspective.
The Collaborative Team
There are different templates for collaborative divorce depending upon a family's needs and the particular issues involved. California Collaborative Lawyers are not specifically regulated, certified, or credentialed. They are required according the terms by which become members associations ("IACP" ) to complete specific training in collaborative law practices. This training is essential because 95% of family attorneys have conditioned attitudes towards divorce practice that are so adversarial that they cannot perform collaboratively without being rewired.
Because resolving cases collaboratively depends on experts other than the lawyers themselves, a characteristic of Collaborative Law is the creation of the Collaborative Team. In order for this type of dispute resolution to be successful, the professional members of the Team must know and trust each other, and the more experience on successive cases that the Team accumulates together the more efficient the Team becomes, and so too the outcomes for clients.
Here is a link to our Team.
Collaborative Teams are typically comprised of the following participants: The parties, a lawyer for each spouse/partner, a divorce "coach" for each party (a licensed therapist or psychologist), and a neutral financial professional who works for both parties.
Divorce coaches interact with the clients directly to support healthy communication and dialogue, redirect emotional reactions, work through impasses that occur and help clients achieve their highest values and hopes for a successful divorce or domestic partnership dissolution. Coaches are the same gender their client. The financial expert is a licensed CPA, CFP or CDFA with training in forensics, whose job description includes everything from cash flow analysis, financial needs of the family going forward, determining child and spousal support (as well as the ability to pay), and establishing budgets as one household transitions into two. If needed, attention is given to training a spouse or partner how to handle finances where they might not have understood or controlled them during the marriage. This supports skills in managing one's separate finances into the future. Experts in vocational rehabilitation may be utilized to assist party's in identifying reeducation needs, or acquiring new skills, that will assist that person in becoming independent.
In cases involving kids, the parties may select a joint therapist with experience in developmental issues to be the voice of the children. Many divorcing, warring parents proclaim their only interest is the minor children when the minors' needs and feelings are never assessed. Collaborative process integrates children into the dissolution experience, and radically changes their experience of your break up. It facilitates cooperation between parents, fosters healthier children of divorce, and improved relationships between the parents and the children for years to come. It models appropriate behavior for children in their future adults in relationship.
What Is the Collaborative Process?
The Collaborative Process includes team meetings to identify the goals and desire outcomes of the couple, meeting with coaches to work on communication and co-parenting issues/and custody sharing, and emotional issues which left unaddressed might cause disputes to erupt. Meetings occur with the financial professional to help unravel the couple's finances, consider how to divide assets and debts, determine expenses and budgets, and negotiate support. The Team provides an orderly and respectful framework for dispute resolution on an item by item basis.
Everything that happens in the Collaborative Process is privileged. Nothing said and no information gained can be used if either party opts out of the process. This creates a container of confidentiality that helps maintain the integrity of the collaborative process. It also establishes a disincentive to the parties to "blow up" the process because neither party can gain an advantage outside of collaborative practice by what was learned or occurred within it. A collaborative lawyer cannot be used in litigation if the process is terminated.
Once the parties have agreed upon a Collaborative Divorce the team members meet to define the goals of the process among the group, by which every player dedicates themselves to the whole outcome. Deadlines are set so that the case stays on track to resolution, unlike court supervised divorce where cases are not managed. In Family Court often one party sees stalling and roadblocking as in their self interest. The Collaborative approach does not permit this attitude to develop, and issues are addressed in real time as they arise.
All information that is needed is exchanged without formal "discovery" which in court cases invariably becomes an expensive battleground of litigation. The financial team member ensures that all relevant historical data is located, exchanged between the parties, and evaluated. There are no ambushes and there can be no surprises. If a party seeks to obstruct disclosure and cannot be convinced by their coach or their attorney to modify that behavior, the process ends and the parties proceed to litigation. Usually, the difficult party can be guided back to the ethical path.
The changing needs of the parties and children are carefully analyzed. Property division scenarios are considered, along with tax consequences. Using the money that once supported one household and now stretching it to support two can be challenging, but in collaborative divorce income and expenses and support can be structured in a way that is sustainable. The number of years remaining to retirement, and wealth management generally, can be planned for and both parties can obtain invaluable tools to budget their affairs and consider the evolving needs of children.
Binding agreements are vetted and finalized and these are submitted to the Family Court for approval and filed as Judgments. The final Judgment is the only public record of the divorce. This includes a method of dealing with future issues as they arise, and if the Court is asked to enforce the agreement in years to come (if the parties do not return to the collaborative process) the Courts have an explanation of what the parties' expectations are. Before this occurs, every effort will be made to help the couple resolve future issues within the collaborative process and so see going to court as a last resort. If this is unsuccessful, it will permit family courts to protect the spirit of the collaborative agreement. Flexibility is written into the parties' agreement.
In the end, the parties know they have treated each other fairly and respectfully, without further wounding and emotional bloodshed, which is a healthy prescription for the futures of all affected!
Consider a Collaborative Outcome!
